Saturday, May 27, 2006

blah, blah please pray for me

So much rain (and ugly days) always puts a damper on my spirits... especially here where to get out means walking around in malls and I'm just not much of a shopper, especially a window shopper. So I feel couped up and blah. We managed to get outside for a little today but the playground equipment was wet and Isabella kept taking some hard spills (scratching her knees and face) so once it started to sprinkle we headed indoors. She spent most of the day climbing onto the couch (via Great-Gram's stool) and sliding back down. It's so fun to see her get such enjoyment out of the littlest things. Yesterday it was carrying around a bag while she walked around. Too cute.

I realized that I'm missing home more these days because I'm missing friends and the ease (transportation wise) of getting together with them. We've made some great friends here that I love spending time with but June is quickly approaching which means some of them will head back to their families to spend the summer and others will not be returning. Brian (our Mon night guest) and two other couples will not be returning and one of those couples is the one with a little girl who lives right next to us. I feel like I need to go back to the drawing board in developing relationships. I've slacked on my efforts to strengthen the ones I have and have stopped reaching out to meet new ones. Since moving to MN, I've learned how friendships are like marriages in that they take work and effort. No matter how well you click and hit it off... you still have to make the effort to get together, be honest, talk... etc. Sometimes I wish it were easier, that people would just come to me, but then the Lord points out how selfish that is and kicks me in the butt. :) I've made some great friends by putting forth the effort and I just can't expect that to happen overnight. I just wish they all lived closer here... I really miss the 5 minute car ride to spend an afternoon with a friend. So I've begun praying that wherever we move, there will be someone close by that I can build a relationship with.

I physically need some energy. Isabella getting up so early and me staying up too late is killing me. I stay up to have some 'me' time but then I'm exhausted in the morning. Viscous cycle that I need to stop.

I've been convicted a lot lately on how I view the world as 'it's all about me.' I try so hard not to be selfish but I've really gotten caught up in 'me-ness' lately. I've been seeking attention, desiring to fit in, feeling insecure and extra sensitive to comments and people that are just unnecessary. Yuck... I hate to live this way and I know it's wrong. Thankfully the Lord always forgives and helps us through our difficult times. My book 'I am NOT but I know I AM' has been so great in pointing out how our lives are a part of God's story... not God's story and yesterday I read a comparison of the current of a white water rafting trip to the 'current that flows out of Eden. ...the downstream effects of Adam's sin still sweep us into the danger zone, that place where sin deceives us and we live as though we are bigger than we truly are. Call it River Pride, white water that provides a thrill while deluding us into believing we're in control." That's how I've been attempting to handle life lately... in my own control but I was shown that I can't do it on my own. I need God to guide me and give me wisdom. I love reading books that teach me about how to live as a Christ-follower and being a good testimony.

And speaking of books... I get to review a book called Pocket Guide to the Bible by Jason Boyett! It's a new book being released on June 6th and he was looking for a few volunteers to read and review it on their blog and Mike sent him and email and I got picked! I'm so excited about this... just got an email that it has been sent so hopefully I'll get in within the next week and a half.

So that's it... my struggles and all. LOL

But nothing makes me smile more than when my daughter (who starts across the room) runs with her arms open straight towards me and just falls into my arms. She gets the biggest grin and I think she knows that she's just made my day. And to know that Mike has two days off next week... and that he's preaching the following Sunday and I get to listen!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh and... YEAH I made it two days no soda! Only 19 more to go. I'm so proud of myself that I made a lo of the other goals I have set... well most of them and decided to post it here and print it out (if our printer would work! I have a very unique way of breaking electronics.. just ask Mike. LOL) and hang it on our door. LOL (The fun part (for me) of this layout was that I created everything other than the background paper!)


Deanna said...

awe melissa...big Virtual hugs to you from Canada girl...Im sorry you r missing home so much..I cant imagine being as far away from my family as you are a strong person to even attempt that.. I know that IRL friends are different...but I and will do my best to check in, and make sure things are goind well for you. Im hoping that the rain lets up for you...I hate cabin really does a number on my life attitute as well. take care

Rischa said...

Prayers sent. I hope you're able to make lasting friendships. I know how lonely it can get when you're in a new place. I've been there, too.