I don't really know what has caused it but I have been thinking A LOT lately and about all sorts of things. The two main things have been about choices and being a Pastor's wife. God has used so many people and His Word to teach me so much and I'm so grateful. I feel like a whole new person with a whole new passion for life and ministry.
My MIL shared some wisdom with me yesterday and one thing in particular really stood out. As best as I can summarize, she shared that she stopped considering herself a pastor's wife (pw for future reference) and just focused on being a Christ follower and another woman in the church. The more I thought about this statement... the more it really spoke to me.
Why? Because it helped me to realize if I were to change my focus, I would be able to let go of some very selfish thoughts. Mainly, I wouldn't have a desire to use the excuse... 'because I'm a PW' and I wouldn't focus so much on the complaints and frustrations that you seem to be more aware of being in leadership. I would focus more on strengthening my relationship with God and becoming the woman He wants me to be and ministering in the way He wants me to. I wouldn't be trying to please anyone other than my God.
And with these thoughts came thoughts about the choices we make. It really hit me today that we choose how we live our lives. We choose to be happy or sad, to complain or rejoice, to make the best of our situation or wallow in self pity. Sadly to say, I've chosen all those negative attitudes at one point in my life and as I thought about it what did that accomplish? I probably got some sympathy, maybe some encouragement, but it also probably made me hard to be around. And that realization made me desire to choose joy and faith at all times. Not to be fake but to realize that all situations can be a chance to grow closer to God and be used by Him.
I know choosing to be joyful in all situations is hard... especially when things are really looking down but I've been encouraged by both my FIL and Mother who are struggling with some severe pain right now but you would never know it. They have chosen to trust God's sovereignty and despite their pain, be joyful. Amazing to me... but it's so obvious that God is working in their lives. Where else would you get that much strength from?
I'm discovering that the more open I become to God, the more I find so much joy in life. Today was one of those days that I felt so fortunate to be alive and to be serving such an AMAZING God. Here's the blessings of today and some of the past..
Well first for a blessing of the past... I never mentioned that we will have another person joining our family this August. NO I am not pregnant but Hannah (from our youth ministry in MN) will be moving in with us! She will spend a year with us doing an internship for our church. I can't tell you how excited I am. She's such an amazing girl and how great it will be to have a little piece of 'home' with us. We're so thankful that the church is allowing us to host her in our home but that does mean one thing for us... time to look for a new flat.
This is a blessing in itself. We have been doing some research and have found that the further away from the heart of the city... the more we can get for our money. Moving further away also means cleaner air and being able to actually smell the greenery we see... plus more space which to an American is a great thing. We spent a little time this morning looking at some flats and all I can say it wow. We are looking at two complexes right now and they are equally amazing. The one we are leaning towards right now has a mouth dropping view of the mountains in the living room and that same view plus an amazing view of the water and beaches is seen in the master bedroom. I also can't even begin to share how excited I was to realy smell the flowers and trees. But we are seeking wisdom and opinions from our youth (we want to make sure that where we are located is accessible to them) and we have a few more months before we can even do anything.
The area we are considering is gorgeous and the closest mall has a Hardees! This is funny to us because neither of us were Hardee's fans in the states but just knowing there's one here excites us.
Mike spent the day at a camp for CAIS (the Chinese CMA school) and we joined him and what a wonderful, relaxing day. It was beautiful out (definitely warming up and the humidity is beginning to increase) and fun to be outside all day. The kids loved Isabella and many of the girls just took her and played with her. That's always fun for me to watch and not have to worry about entertaining her. I hated to leave but all good things must come to an end.
And with that... I'm off to watch some Scrubs. LOL