Torn

on so many levels.... ugh what an awful feeling not knowing what to do.

The most recent turmoil comes from the book I've been reading and the awareness that I now have about Thailand's children living in poverty. for most there is absolutely no hope for them because the fiances are simply not available for them to recieve a proper education and therefore cannot get out of the poverty cycle. I don't know why this is laying so heavily on my heart. It seems a bit strange to me that while I know all over the world people are suffering... nothing has touched me as much as this has. But anyway.... The author of the book has set up an education fund (Students Education Trusts) aka charity that is dedicated to making a difference in the living situations of Thai children. This charity doesn't just give away money and hope that the children will use it for the right things... they interview, check family backgrounds so that the money that is donated is given to students who will complete their education. On one hand it seems a bit harsh to me to deny anyone education but at the same time it seems a waste of money to give a child money for education and then a few months later they quit. So I understand the reason behind the selection process. But anyway.... there is something about this particular charity that draws me to it. However, the man who started this was a former buddhist monk and I don't know if the charity is just based on education or if it helps to promote buddhism. And to be perfectly honest, I don't want to support something that promotes Buddism when I believe iin Jesus. I feel somewhat horrible in that I'm not willing to help others because I don't agree with their religious beliefs but at the same time.... welll now I'm just rambling. So anyway.. I'm trying to find some Christian organizations that do something similar or find out for sure what this particular supports.

So if any readers know of anything... please leave a comment! I'm not looking just to donate money for food. Again I'm sure that sounds awful but I think what draws me to this charity is that it teaches/provides for children so that they can better their (and their future familes) lives rather than just to survive it.

So yeah... that's my recent dilemma and I don't know why it's bothering me so...

outside of that... we've had a fabulous day! Church was great, wakeboarding/tubing was tons of fun, Isabella was awesome, it was just wonderful!

And a side note.... the mat on the floor seems to have done wonders for Izzy. She has not complained at all at bedtime for the past two nights! Crazy.